For my entire life, my family and I have enjoyed the tradition of drinking La Manzanilla, a unique Mexican tea sipped before going to sleep. To me, La Manzanilla is simply part of the routine of my daily life. Yet, to others, this vital portion of my culture might seem foreign. This is the manifestation of the idea that the parental ethnotheories, or parents’ cultural belief systems, imposed upon me as a child vary from those of other cultures, and that what I might see as normal may be alien to someone raised under different traditions (Harkness and Super 2006).
For Spanish speakers, here is an article discussing the benefits of Manzanilla Tea:
From a very early age, my parents emphasized the importance of representing each one of our cultural backgrounds in our everyday lives. I lived in a house governed by several cultures and ways of thinking. My mom is half-Spanish and half-Puerto Rican, and was born in the United States. My dad was raised in a traditional family in Mexico. Drinking La Manzanilla, as well as the other Mexican traditions my family incorporates into daily life, derives from my childhood in Mexico City, where I was born. Though in Mexico this is a common ritual, bed-time traditions in general are something that only certain societies embrace (Harkness and Super 2006), and the practice of the tradition, as well as what it consists of, varies widely.
Life in Mexico
Throughout my years in Mexico, I felt that my culture was incredibly similar to those of my peers, who grew up in predominately Hispanic homes. However, as it is with most families, there were certain traditions that set my family apart from others. My mom would only speak to us English to help us learn the language, and we would celebrate American holidays like Fourth of July and Thanksgiving. In addition, even though most upper-class Mexican families had help around the house, my parents forced us to do chores. For most Western people, these actions seem normal, if not trivial. However, these traits were unique to our family in Mexico, and I was taught to embrace the dual-culture that my family possessed.
Life in The United States
And then, upon my move to the United States when I was eleven, certain pages of my cultural script flipped, in order to preserve what defined my family. Now, my parents will strictly speak in Spanish around the household and would set aside specific time aside for the family, something that came more naturally in Mexico, but was more difficult to obtain in life in America. Additionally, my family brought all of our Hispanic traditions to America, as we continue to celebrate the Day of the Dead, the Three Kings, and Mexico’s Independence Day.
As I grew into this different, yet oddly familiar, way of life, I recognized that the little things, like my lunches accompanied by Tajin, a spicy chili powder, and our nightly family dinners, were much different than the traditions of my American peers. Due to my early years in Mexico, I had become used to living differently but, with this culture shock, I struggled to retain my unique identity and adjust to the norm of American culture.
My multicultural background led me to have a truly diverse and unique childhood. The singularity of my assorted cultural niche and ethnic background allows me to identify with American ethnotheories, as well as those from other cultures that Harkness and Super discuss in their article. I grew up in a multi-cultural household that celebrated every culture represented within it. For example, not only would we celebrate Halloween on the 31st of October, but also Dia de los Muertos on the 1st of November. This unique mix of cultural traditions also showed in my parent’s parenting goals. I was raised in a household were independence was valued yet love and support was never restricted or denied. In addition, my parents never ceased to stress the importance of family and community, regardless of how far away my family now was. I am thankful that my parents exposed me to the breadth of my myriad cultural backgrounds and created a safe environment for me to learn and grow. My own personalcultural niche provided me with a safe place to learn, explore, and be myself. I admire my family’s strength in always embracing our identity, no matter where we lived.
I encourage parents and children alike to not hold so tightly onto our embedded ethnocentric ideals and realize that there are many different ways to raise a child, none necessarily being better than another. Through my experiences, I was able to recognize that my family’s flexible ethnotheories allowed for a different, more full childhood for me, personally. I believe that learning from one another about each other’s cultures and backgrounds can lead to a more well-rounded and complete childhood, and the ability to enforce that type of childhood to future generations.
References
Harkness, S., & Super, C. M. (2006). Themes and Variations: Parental Ethnotheories in Western Cultures. In K. H. Rubin & O. B. Chung (Ed.), Parenting beliefs, behaviors, and parent-child relations: A cross-cultural perspective (pp. 61–79). New York, NY: Psychology Press.
Small, M. F. (1999). Our babies, ourselves: how biology and culture shape the way we parent, Chapter 2. New York, NY: Anchor Books.